It all starts with a little contradistinction…

Does anybody else get so wrapped in all they’re doing and lose time? I saw the word constradistinction today and had to look it up… and it instantly made me think of the differnt mediums I’ve used and am still using… I feel like I jump from medium to medium all of the time in the haze of creatvity, but then I realise, it’s been over years and years and I got lost in time.

Last year, wow, leave that there, the new year, new start vibe hasn’t exactly made it disappear (not that anything ever will) but I have gotten myself through with writing. I never thought anything would compare to the tranquility, frustration or sense of peace (probably too strong a word there…) that painting can bring, but I dare say it has. Not to say I don’t get the urge to get all messy with plaster and emulsion and anything paint related that will exhausrt me, but writing definitely takes the edge off and is probably better suited to my late night creative tendencies.

I published my first novel on the 31.12.2016 and I am so pleased with the reception it’s received, I’m already a third of the way into the first draft and fairly certain I’m looking at releasing it towards the end of the year(hopefuly October time the latest). It was one of those things I kept quiet, I wasn’t sure if I was going to finish it, even family were surprised and voila! Before I knew it, the internet allowed me to publish on a next to nothing budget. Obviously designing the cover was insanely enjoyable but I instantly rolled away with the next set of ideas. I am pleased to say I have 5 star  reviews, great feedback and customers patiently waiting for the next installment.

At the risk  of marketing shamelessly, it’s available on Amazon and the links are posted below (Fire: A Heart and Soul Novel).

But back to my point, does anyone else just stumble across love for a medium they never thought they’d touch without being forced?

I struggle with academic writing, but blogs and anything emotion based, I’m all over it, enjoy the hell out of it. I can hear myself in it, I suppose that’s what’s missing, it’s rather regimented. I however don’t even learn by the rules. I maybe study the ultimate basics (Out of necessity) for a little while and then ignore everything I learnt in favour of my own way. I only from learn mistakes anyway… It’s the only way it sticks!

For years I only drew in pen and pencil. Now the project I have in line for a colleague at work has me wondering if I’m still capable because I haven’t touched them in so long, I get the feeling I might find myself replacing several of them due to neglect!

Because once I hit uni, that was it, it was all about paint and abstract expressionism, it was exactly what  I needed at that time to deal with life’s assault and since leaving uni, it’s been all about the digital painting,and writing. Is it the ease? The speed? The ability to edit and change as much as you need to and more? I haven’t figured it out yet but I am pleased I didn’t get stuck n the rut. Chances are I’ll probably go full circle like fashion (not that it’s going to entertain me by bringing back the 1940s – I’m all for the sweetheart necklines) because I don’t know, I cope with each situation differently and each medium plays its part – I am fascinated at the link between creativity and coping mechanisms ( I love reading about art therapy and psychoanalysis but that’s  whole other post).

Painting the way I do allows me to analyse my feelings without spelling it out for viewers and it’s something they enjoy; I’m all about talking out the process, not its meaning. Pen and pencil, is about design, someone trying to convey something to me and me helping them visualise what they want, it’s usually the nearest tool to hand so ci an help them express themselves and they use it how they please.

Writing allows me to create an entirely new world (escapism maybe). To describe what you envision rather than draw it is a completely new challenge. But yet the two are so intertwined because my entire novel started with and idea for a character I had and a background story line. And when I realised I had too much information to cram into one image, that was it, I was off! I knew I would get my vision across better in a novel than I ever would in imagery.

A picture may speak a thousand words but this time it wasn’t the case.

My Novel is available in the following links:

UK: Fire: A Heart & Soul Novel

US: Fire: A Heart & Soul Novel

It’s available worldwide, on Kindle, Kindle Unlimited and Paperback is also available.

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The After Uni Experience…

In my previous blog I went through how I knew I had to create something, all of the time, at any spare time, and then the worry sank in…

I left uni with the go and self drive of any graduate, all the plans laid out for how I was going to become this full-time artist and get to London.

I got the opportunity for a studio space with the wonderful 24WA and I was entering local exhibitions with all my previous work. Great right? The problem was, life, it was an hour bus journey and I was only getting a few hours in at the weekend. And while the rates are extremely good with them, it wasn’t worth it for a few hours on a Saturday because public transport didn’t run as late as I needed to and finished work 6pm most days.

I completed a studio exhibition with them – wet work as usual – and found myself packing up yet again. While my network is the most amazing and supportive group of people you will ever meet,  I couldn’t have them adding layers of varnish or writing repetitive obsessive numbers on my work. Add much as they would have loved to!

I’d be lying if I said this work didn’t get put on hold, and it breaks my heart, because I am aware it had a wonderful reception, but I couldn’t accept the responses first hand because I simply couldn’t get to the exhibition because I was at work. And while my room is quite big, it’s not big enough to be a bedroom and an art studio… painting got put on hold, because the smallest I work is 4ft x 8ft and as you can see, it gets messy!

So while I waited for the studio of my dreams to pop up locally, I remembered my promise to myself to create anything and everything.

I bought myself a drawing tablet and ArtRage and got to it…

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I was really impressed with the effects you can achieve and haven’t turned back while I patiently wait for the right opportunity… because some things cannot be forced and I reiterate…

Time does not have a place in this type of work. It cannot be the begin all and end all of works that are  deeply rooted in emotion, reaction and its immediate environment, it cannot be rushed.

It could also be a case of the fact that I am not yet prepared to deal with the obsession of those numbers. Because those numbers are significant dates of my personal life. But before I risk sounding like I’m making excuses for not painting, I’ll stop rambling and get to the point..

I am highlighting that something good comes of the things you aren’t able to control. Because sometimes other priorities come into play, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you cannot do something else in the interim that satisfies the need to create… yes, it may not be your grand master plan, but what grand master plan comes overnight?

Many artists end up with thousands of pages of ideas in their sketchbooks and only send maybe 20 reach the public and it doesn’t bother me that these have ended up there.

I let go of my worry of ‘what now’ and let things take their own path, taking a cue from my very own artwork and letting things grow the way they are intended.

As a result, I have never been happier, I feel challenged, learning new mediums and getting stuck in to the many different types of art in the world.

Much love and keep creating!

Tan xx